November 18, 2008
I lost 4 pounds this week for a total of 17 pounds. Actually, It really could be 20 pounds. I know I’ve seen that number (my current weight plus 20 pounds) before. That’s so awesome. I am going to make my goal before Thanksgiving barring any unforeseen tragedies. I am averaging 4 lbs a week right now. So I have 5 weeks between now and Christmas. I could be down another 20 pounds before Christmas. If I continue on this course without fail, I could be down 69 lbs before the retreat! I realize this is all hypothetical and with the Holidays between us, anything can happen. But it doesn't hurt to dream! That is a huge dream. I need to exercise to help that dream along. I checked out the pool schedule for water aerobics yesterday. They only have like 2 or 3 days that I could attend between now and Christmas. I need to find something else until they open up their winter schedule in January. I have to see Amy tonight; I will inquire about the treadmill they’ve promised me. Things are a little bit tight financially right now so I don’t think joining a gym would be prudent. Man, why is exercising in the fall/winter so hard?
About Me
- Charity Husk
- I am a Certified Health Coach and I help people with A healthy, fast way to lose up to 2-5 lbs a week and keep it off for life! I love what I do and I feel like I'm a natural at empowering others to achieve what they once believed was impossible. Call me if you're interested, if you'd like to hear more or if you just want to chat. I'd love to meet you at Starbucks and encourage you to strive for greatness! When I started my journey toward optimal health I journaled almost every day. The oldest posts on here are from the view point of an obese whiner who had no hope and believed change was impossible. Read the oldest posts for hope and encouragement if you are on your journey toward optimal health. You will see my life has experienced a major transformation and now I write often about my life lessons and adventures. Enjoy!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
November 17, 2008
I have a busy week ahead of me; too much going on. I am in the process of trying to weed out a few things but I am not sure how to do all of that. The thing about this program is that I am not hungry most of the time so when it’s time to eat, I have to be conscious of it on another level other than hunger pains and cravings. It’s easy to skip meals or be late for them. That’s the big struggle of the week, making time for food.
I weigh in tomorrow. Today I am swollen up like a balloon so I’ll try to take some water pills today and drink a lot of water so I get a more accurate number tomorrow. I’m hoping for a big number.
Also I need to add another level to my new lifestyle. I know I’ve been talking about it but I need to turn it into action this week and begin an exercise program. Of course the forecast calls for rain this week so going for walks will be difficult. I’m not sure what to do for exercise. Maybe I’ll check out the water aerobics schedule at the pool while I’m there for Al and J’s lessons.
I have a busy week ahead of me; too much going on. I am in the process of trying to weed out a few things but I am not sure how to do all of that. The thing about this program is that I am not hungry most of the time so when it’s time to eat, I have to be conscious of it on another level other than hunger pains and cravings. It’s easy to skip meals or be late for them. That’s the big struggle of the week, making time for food.
I weigh in tomorrow. Today I am swollen up like a balloon so I’ll try to take some water pills today and drink a lot of water so I get a more accurate number tomorrow. I’m hoping for a big number.
Also I need to add another level to my new lifestyle. I know I’ve been talking about it but I need to turn it into action this week and begin an exercise program. Of course the forecast calls for rain this week so going for walks will be difficult. I’m not sure what to do for exercise. Maybe I’ll check out the water aerobics schedule at the pool while I’m there for Al and J’s lessons.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Yip, Still Chubby
This is a picture of me from the party this last weekend. I had this picture on Facebook earlier today and after looking at it for a while I deleted it. I was feeling so good about my weight loss but this picture shows I am clearly still very chubby. It was all the motivation I needed to forgo the pizza Roy brought home.
Back In The Saddle Again
November 16, 2008
I am sure I have written in my ‘journal’ since the 10th. I think I wrote in it and then didn’t save it or something. So here are the week’s highlights. I weighed in on the 11th. I was pretty proud of myself because I lost 2 lbs even though I struggled so bad the previous week. I am glad I stuck to my guns and didn’t make things worse eating pizza or popcorn.
I bought a few items of new clothing. Not because I am the incredibly shrinking woman, but because I just needed them. I was on the verge of having to go up a size before but now the next size up would’ve been like wearing clown clothes. That’s good.
Anyway, I survived my ‘dad’s party this weekend. I ran a whole ‘malt shop’ complete with whip cream and all the other works. I’m so glad I did it. I had the energy to do it too. My energy level has been in sane. I can hardly sleep more than 6 hours a night now and I can hardly sit still while I’m awake. I’ve obviously gone back into the ‘fat burning’ stage. I hope I keep burning fat. I stood on the scale Friday just to make sure Ii was doing stuff right and I lost another 2 lbs. Making my total 15 lbs right now. I’d also like to mention that I got a “Magic Bullet” mixer Friday. It’s made a world of difference to my shakes.
I am sure I have written in my ‘journal’ since the 10th. I think I wrote in it and then didn’t save it or something. So here are the week’s highlights. I weighed in on the 11th. I was pretty proud of myself because I lost 2 lbs even though I struggled so bad the previous week. I am glad I stuck to my guns and didn’t make things worse eating pizza or popcorn.
I bought a few items of new clothing. Not because I am the incredibly shrinking woman, but because I just needed them. I was on the verge of having to go up a size before but now the next size up would’ve been like wearing clown clothes. That’s good.
Anyway, I survived my ‘dad’s party this weekend. I ran a whole ‘malt shop’ complete with whip cream and all the other works. I’m so glad I did it. I had the energy to do it too. My energy level has been in sane. I can hardly sleep more than 6 hours a night now and I can hardly sit still while I’m awake. I’ve obviously gone back into the ‘fat burning’ stage. I hope I keep burning fat. I stood on the scale Friday just to make sure Ii was doing stuff right and I lost another 2 lbs. Making my total 15 lbs right now. I’d also like to mention that I got a “Magic Bullet” mixer Friday. It’s made a world of difference to my shakes.
Regrets
November 10, 2008
I feel like crap. I have diarrhea and I’m queasy. I choked down my glass of cocoa for breakfast because I am almost in the fat burning stage if not, I am already. I have to keep choking the food down! I stood on the scale again this morning and of course, I still haven’t lost hardly any weight this week. Tomorrow I officially weigh in but I don’t have high hopes for much; which means I’m not going to make the 20 lbs by Thanksgiving goal. I am certainly not going to make the 50 pounds by Christmas goal. That is hilarious that I even wrote that! Good for me for sticking with it anyway. Allison threw up all day Friday so I hope I don’t have what she had. Can I miss two weeks of Bible study? I’ve never done that before but it may happen this week. I’m so annoyed with this lack of weight loss. I just can’t even describe it right now. Grrr! I wish I could go back in time and do this past week right.
I feel like crap. I have diarrhea and I’m queasy. I choked down my glass of cocoa for breakfast because I am almost in the fat burning stage if not, I am already. I have to keep choking the food down! I stood on the scale again this morning and of course, I still haven’t lost hardly any weight this week. Tomorrow I officially weigh in but I don’t have high hopes for much; which means I’m not going to make the 20 lbs by Thanksgiving goal. I am certainly not going to make the 50 pounds by Christmas goal. That is hilarious that I even wrote that! Good for me for sticking with it anyway. Allison threw up all day Friday so I hope I don’t have what she had. Can I miss two weeks of Bible study? I’ve never done that before but it may happen this week. I’m so annoyed with this lack of weight loss. I just can’t even describe it right now. Grrr! I wish I could go back in time and do this past week right.
Whining
November 9, 2008
I am So hungry right now. I need to wait another 25 minutes to eat though. Then I think Roy and I are going to go grocery shopping. Going out of the ‘fat burning’ stage is really the pits. Hopefully I will enter this stage again here soon. I woke up with the worst headache today. It is just so tempting to go off this diet since I’m not burning fat anyway. Take a break and go to Red Robin. I dream of garlic fries. I went to the movies again today and saw Madagascar II. I was surrounded by buttered popcorn on all sides… again. I am proud of myself, for whatever that is worth, for sticking to the diet regardless of how hungry I am, and regardless of the knowledge that I’m not burning any fat. Yesterday Roy got Little Caesars pizza. I haven’t had that kind of pizza since I was in high school and it smelled so good. I’m torturing myself. Blahh. I need to get a blender so that I can make these shakes fluffier and yummier.
I am So hungry right now. I need to wait another 25 minutes to eat though. Then I think Roy and I are going to go grocery shopping. Going out of the ‘fat burning’ stage is really the pits. Hopefully I will enter this stage again here soon. I woke up with the worst headache today. It is just so tempting to go off this diet since I’m not burning fat anyway. Take a break and go to Red Robin. I dream of garlic fries. I went to the movies again today and saw Madagascar II. I was surrounded by buttered popcorn on all sides… again. I am proud of myself, for whatever that is worth, for sticking to the diet regardless of how hungry I am, and regardless of the knowledge that I’m not burning any fat. Yesterday Roy got Little Caesars pizza. I haven’t had that kind of pizza since I was in high school and it smelled so good. I’m torturing myself. Blahh. I need to get a blender so that I can make these shakes fluffier and yummier.
Epiphany
November 8, 2008
I am sooooo bummed this morning. I know that sounds very adult saying ‘I’m bummed’ but there really is no other way to put it. I talked to Chemae this morning because I was discouraged about my weight loss or lack thereof this week and I found out that when I accidently missed that meal this week and when I went out with my friend until 3 am earlier, I kicked myself out of fat burning stage! So TWICE this week I ruined my diet without even getting to enjoy it! I should’ve just had some pie with my friend instead. At least it would’ve been more fun! Soo, whoop di doo.
So Thursday I accidently skipped my meal. Friday, Saturday, Sunday I should be ‘fat storing’ and Monday I should bounce right back out of this and into the ‘fat burning’ stage. Dang it. It sort of makes me want to cheat and go out to Red Robin for dinner tonight. It’ll just but the fat burning stage off until Tuesday again. I’ve already wasted this whole dang week. Grrrr.
No wonder I’m starving right now.
I am sooooo bummed this morning. I know that sounds very adult saying ‘I’m bummed’ but there really is no other way to put it. I talked to Chemae this morning because I was discouraged about my weight loss or lack thereof this week and I found out that when I accidently missed that meal this week and when I went out with my friend until 3 am earlier, I kicked myself out of fat burning stage! So TWICE this week I ruined my diet without even getting to enjoy it! I should’ve just had some pie with my friend instead. At least it would’ve been more fun! Soo, whoop di doo.
So Thursday I accidently skipped my meal. Friday, Saturday, Sunday I should be ‘fat storing’ and Monday I should bounce right back out of this and into the ‘fat burning’ stage. Dang it. It sort of makes me want to cheat and go out to Red Robin for dinner tonight. It’ll just but the fat burning stage off until Tuesday again. I’ve already wasted this whole dang week. Grrrr.
No wonder I’m starving right now.
What Am I Doing Wrong?
November 6, 2008
I’m feeling a bit healthier today. I slept rotten because I kept choking while I was laying down. I got on the scale today, as soon as I woke up, and I was at ____ So, I know I’m still losing weight. I really need to go to the store today and buy some lettuce. I had to run to McDonalds last night for a grilled chicken salad. And of course that came laden with parmesan cheese. I picked off as much as I could.
Yesterday and today I’ve been pondering the question “Have I been doing anything wrong?” Is there anything I am doing that could be slowing down my weight loss process? On the Take Shape for Life Do’s and Don’t sheet it says:
DON’T: Eat extra carbohydrates. Just one slice of bread or a single piece of fruit can put you out of ketosis, you risk losing energy, becoming more hungry, having stronger cravings and experiencing slower weight loss.
The coincidence is that (know I realize that I’ve been sick also) but I’ve felt excessively hungry, especially yesterday- and completely out of energy. I could hardly wait two hours between my meals. So, I am assuming that I must be eating too many carbs. They say no more than 10 carbs in your lean and green meal. That means if I am going to continue to eat Veggie burgers, I have to have carb free dressing on my salad or figure out another green vegetable. So, that’s my big epiphany of the day.
Meal 3 3:00: peanut butter bar. I did the craziest thing today. I wrote down that I was eating at 11:30 and I went into the kitchen. I draw a blank from there. I have no idea what I ate or if I ate. I am pretty sure I didn’t eat. I looked for dirty shaker cups, food wrappers, anything and I found nothing but my breakfast mess. I was wondering why I was so hungry at 1:00. Now I know! I hope I didn’t throw off my groove too bad. So, I’m sipping a cranberry mango (meal 2) juice while I eat my peanut butter bar. Making up for two meals. All this after wondering what I was doing wrong above. Good grief.
I’m feeling a bit healthier today. I slept rotten because I kept choking while I was laying down. I got on the scale today, as soon as I woke up, and I was at ____ So, I know I’m still losing weight. I really need to go to the store today and buy some lettuce. I had to run to McDonalds last night for a grilled chicken salad. And of course that came laden with parmesan cheese. I picked off as much as I could.
Yesterday and today I’ve been pondering the question “Have I been doing anything wrong?” Is there anything I am doing that could be slowing down my weight loss process? On the Take Shape for Life Do’s and Don’t sheet it says:
DON’T: Eat extra carbohydrates. Just one slice of bread or a single piece of fruit can put you out of ketosis, you risk losing energy, becoming more hungry, having stronger cravings and experiencing slower weight loss.
The coincidence is that (know I realize that I’ve been sick also) but I’ve felt excessively hungry, especially yesterday- and completely out of energy. I could hardly wait two hours between my meals. So, I am assuming that I must be eating too many carbs. They say no more than 10 carbs in your lean and green meal. That means if I am going to continue to eat Veggie burgers, I have to have carb free dressing on my salad or figure out another green vegetable. So, that’s my big epiphany of the day.
Meal 3 3:00: peanut butter bar. I did the craziest thing today. I wrote down that I was eating at 11:30 and I went into the kitchen. I draw a blank from there. I have no idea what I ate or if I ate. I am pretty sure I didn’t eat. I looked for dirty shaker cups, food wrappers, anything and I found nothing but my breakfast mess. I was wondering why I was so hungry at 1:00. Now I know! I hope I didn’t throw off my groove too bad. So, I’m sipping a cranberry mango (meal 2) juice while I eat my peanut butter bar. Making up for two meals. All this after wondering what I was doing wrong above. Good grief.
Illness
November 5, 2008
I’m feeling discouraged today. I shouldn’t but Ii am. It doesn’t help that I don’t feel too well. I weighed myself again this morning and I was up one pound from yesterday. Making my loss only 10 pounds. I won’t be able to make my 20 pound goal if I only lost 3 this week. How in the world am Ii going to stay motivated. I had a hard time eating last night with my sore throat. I am still having a hard time eating. The problem is I’m just not hungry. I just want to sleep. I don’t want to journal either.
I’m feeling discouraged today. I shouldn’t but Ii am. It doesn’t help that I don’t feel too well. I weighed myself again this morning and I was up one pound from yesterday. Making my loss only 10 pounds. I won’t be able to make my 20 pound goal if I only lost 3 this week. How in the world am Ii going to stay motivated. I had a hard time eating last night with my sore throat. I am still having a hard time eating. The problem is I’m just not hungry. I just want to sleep. I don’t want to journal either.
GNO
November 4, 2008 Election Day
I am not feeling awesome today. My throat and my head hurt super bad. I stayed out last night with my friend until 3 a.m. So being tired isn’t helping much. I behaved on my GNO. We went to Applebee’s and I ordered garlic herb chicken and I asked them to hold the potatoes, hold the steamed veggies and give me a side salad and I had just a smidge of fat free ranch on the side. I didn’t finish the salad. We usually go to Starbucks or somewhere for coffee but we just went to Shari’s after we shopped and I drank black coffee and lots of water.
My friend and I talked about this diet a good chunk of the night. For me, it was good to verbalize some of my struggles and paradigm shifts. I hope I didn’t bore her to death, but she’s a good friend and a good listener. If she was bored to death, I’d never know it.
I got a really late start today due to the GNO. I did weigh myself but it was at 11 am. I lost 4 pounds. I’ll weigh myself again tomorrow morning and see if that number jives. Regardless, that brings my weight loss total to 11 pounds in two weeks. I would’ve preferred 5 lbs. Maybe I need to be more realistic and think that 11 pounds in two weeks is pretty amazing. I have seen that kind of numbers with weight watchers before though, and I was just thinking that this diet is supposed to yield better results. Of course, my metabolism has changed a lot since then so this truly could be an amazing accomplishment. Next order is going to include the momentum shakes for boosting your metabolism I think. Maybe Chemae won’t recommend that for this stage in the game, but I’m going to see if I can get away with it.
I am not feeling awesome today. My throat and my head hurt super bad. I stayed out last night with my friend until 3 a.m. So being tired isn’t helping much. I behaved on my GNO. We went to Applebee’s and I ordered garlic herb chicken and I asked them to hold the potatoes, hold the steamed veggies and give me a side salad and I had just a smidge of fat free ranch on the side. I didn’t finish the salad. We usually go to Starbucks or somewhere for coffee but we just went to Shari’s after we shopped and I drank black coffee and lots of water.
My friend and I talked about this diet a good chunk of the night. For me, it was good to verbalize some of my struggles and paradigm shifts. I hope I didn’t bore her to death, but she’s a good friend and a good listener. If she was bored to death, I’d never know it.
I got a really late start today due to the GNO. I did weigh myself but it was at 11 am. I lost 4 pounds. I’ll weigh myself again tomorrow morning and see if that number jives. Regardless, that brings my weight loss total to 11 pounds in two weeks. I would’ve preferred 5 lbs. Maybe I need to be more realistic and think that 11 pounds in two weeks is pretty amazing. I have seen that kind of numbers with weight watchers before though, and I was just thinking that this diet is supposed to yield better results. Of course, my metabolism has changed a lot since then so this truly could be an amazing accomplishment. Next order is going to include the momentum shakes for boosting your metabolism I think. Maybe Chemae won’t recommend that for this stage in the game, but I’m going to see if I can get away with it.
Making Changes
November 3, 2008
I can’t believe how easily I made it through yesterday. I even made homemade macaroni and cheese for the family and I didn’t even test it or lick my fingers. It was awesome. I think remembering my commitment to myself really helped. I felt really good too. My jeans, right out of the dryer, were looser than normal, like they felt baggy in the behind.
I’m so excited to weigh in tomorrow. I hope I’m not disappointed. I should measure myself tomorrow too. I wish I would’ve done this in the beginning.
Commitment 2: I will make changes in my eating habits and change my old beliefs about dieting.
I really am making changes. It has been a struggle up until now, but I finally have it somewhat figured out. Eat every 2.5 hours. Make changes to your plan if you need to in order to stay on schedule.
I may have a GNO (Girls Night Out) tonight and if so, that’ll be a challenge because we like Thai food and coffee. We are talking about shoe shopping though, that’ll be fun. We can still eat out if we can find somewhere that I can get a lean meat and salad.
I can’t believe how easily I made it through yesterday. I even made homemade macaroni and cheese for the family and I didn’t even test it or lick my fingers. It was awesome. I think remembering my commitment to myself really helped. I felt really good too. My jeans, right out of the dryer, were looser than normal, like they felt baggy in the behind.
I’m so excited to weigh in tomorrow. I hope I’m not disappointed. I should measure myself tomorrow too. I wish I would’ve done this in the beginning.
Commitment 2: I will make changes in my eating habits and change my old beliefs about dieting.
I really am making changes. It has been a struggle up until now, but I finally have it somewhat figured out. Eat every 2.5 hours. Make changes to your plan if you need to in order to stay on schedule.
I may have a GNO (Girls Night Out) tonight and if so, that’ll be a challenge because we like Thai food and coffee. We are talking about shoe shopping though, that’ll be fun. We can still eat out if we can find somewhere that I can get a lean meat and salad.
November 1, 2008
BIRTHDAY PARTY
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3
HEAD ACHE
TIRED
STUCK TO DIET ANYWAY
November 2, 2008
Yesterday was very hard. I don’t know why. I slept in and had to run once I woke up because we had to get Allison to a party by 11. So, I missed my coffee and computer time. That set a bad precedent for the rest of the day. The headache, probably from the lack of coffee, and the fatigue, probably from not waking up slowly like usual, never went away. I was tired and cranky. I just wanted pizza or a hamburger or something. Nothing would’ve made me happier than a huge Mexican food meal and then some birthday cake. This is just a horrible time of year to be trying your will power. I haven’t even been on this diet two weeks yet and I’ve passed up pizza 3 times, chocolate birthday cake twice, Halloween candy, Carl’s Jr, McDonalds 3 times… movie popcorn. Ugh. My will power felt so thin last night it was unreal. I was trying to broker a deal with myself. If I can lose 25 pounds before Thanksgiving, I’d allow myself to enjoy some mashed potatoes’ and gravy. I was dreaming about mashed potatoes last night.
THEN I woke up this morning remembering the commitment I made to myself. Eat nothing that is not on the plan until I reach my goal weight. End of story. Period. I have to remember that commitment and remember I made that commitment to myself, not to some stranger. So, I am just going to have to prepare myself for 6 oz of turkey and a salad on Thanksgiving. That is it. I have to do this. I am already seeing small changes in my body and I don’t want to waste all the effort put forth so far.
We were watching one of the learning channels the other day. There was a woman on there that lost 125 pounds. She looked ginormous on her before pictures. Like, how could she possibly fit through a door-big. They stated she weighed 275. And now weighs 150. She had huge globs of skin and saggy boobs after she lost the weight. She had to have $60K worth of surgery to remove all the skin and lift up her boobs. This has me a tad worried. I have this poodge on my stomach that I think is always going to be there because of the skin and I can’t afford no huge surgery. If I could, I’d do the lap band!
Something funny that happened at church this morning, the whole sanctuary smelled like popcorn. They were talking about the fragrance of Christ so the smell of popcorn was deliberate. He asked what we thought of, or what does the smell of popcorn remind us of. All I could think of was trying to watch the movie at the theater last night while covering my nose in my hoody to hide from the smell. It was torture all over again. It actually was funny enough to laugh about.
BIRTHDAY PARTY
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3
HEAD ACHE
TIRED
STUCK TO DIET ANYWAY
November 2, 2008
Yesterday was very hard. I don’t know why. I slept in and had to run once I woke up because we had to get Allison to a party by 11. So, I missed my coffee and computer time. That set a bad precedent for the rest of the day. The headache, probably from the lack of coffee, and the fatigue, probably from not waking up slowly like usual, never went away. I was tired and cranky. I just wanted pizza or a hamburger or something. Nothing would’ve made me happier than a huge Mexican food meal and then some birthday cake. This is just a horrible time of year to be trying your will power. I haven’t even been on this diet two weeks yet and I’ve passed up pizza 3 times, chocolate birthday cake twice, Halloween candy, Carl’s Jr, McDonalds 3 times… movie popcorn. Ugh. My will power felt so thin last night it was unreal. I was trying to broker a deal with myself. If I can lose 25 pounds before Thanksgiving, I’d allow myself to enjoy some mashed potatoes’ and gravy. I was dreaming about mashed potatoes last night.
THEN I woke up this morning remembering the commitment I made to myself. Eat nothing that is not on the plan until I reach my goal weight. End of story. Period. I have to remember that commitment and remember I made that commitment to myself, not to some stranger. So, I am just going to have to prepare myself for 6 oz of turkey and a salad on Thanksgiving. That is it. I have to do this. I am already seeing small changes in my body and I don’t want to waste all the effort put forth so far.
We were watching one of the learning channels the other day. There was a woman on there that lost 125 pounds. She looked ginormous on her before pictures. Like, how could she possibly fit through a door-big. They stated she weighed 275. And now weighs 150. She had huge globs of skin and saggy boobs after she lost the weight. She had to have $60K worth of surgery to remove all the skin and lift up her boobs. This has me a tad worried. I have this poodge on my stomach that I think is always going to be there because of the skin and I can’t afford no huge surgery. If I could, I’d do the lap band!
Something funny that happened at church this morning, the whole sanctuary smelled like popcorn. They were talking about the fragrance of Christ so the smell of popcorn was deliberate. He asked what we thought of, or what does the smell of popcorn remind us of. All I could think of was trying to watch the movie at the theater last night while covering my nose in my hoody to hide from the smell. It was torture all over again. It actually was funny enough to laugh about.
Old Habits Die Hard
October 31, 2008
I’m tired. I need a nap. I really really really wanted to go out to Burgerville for lunch after Friday school was over. That’s the routine we’ve been in but I stuck to my guns and came home and had oatmeal. Because today is Halloween, I really want to make my homemade soup; I really want to bake something because it’s rainy out. I am super tired and I know if I had that ‘full’ feeling in my stomach that I’d sleep like a baby. Praying that I make it through the rest of the day without fudging. (no pun intended)
I’m tired. I need a nap. I really really really wanted to go out to Burgerville for lunch after Friday school was over. That’s the routine we’ve been in but I stuck to my guns and came home and had oatmeal. Because today is Halloween, I really want to make my homemade soup; I really want to bake something because it’s rainy out. I am super tired and I know if I had that ‘full’ feeling in my stomach that I’d sleep like a baby. Praying that I make it through the rest of the day without fudging. (no pun intended)
Commitment 2: change habits
October 30, 2008
Last night, after the kids went to AWANA, I cleaned the house. I couldn’t stop cleaning. I even bent over to pick stuff up. I haven’t had that desire to clean in a long time. It’s always this huge battle with my body to get up and do that. I didn’t feel more energetic, but I had enough energy to get up and clean the house. I was a machine. Once I got to a point where I knew I wouldn’t have any more fun at all if I didn’t stop, I took a bath. Then I ate the yummiest taco salad. No sour cream, no cheese. It was still good! I plan to go to the grocery store and buy more ground turkey breast and make some more taco meat. Then I played my guitar for a bit and watches a few episodes of M*A*S*H*. THEN I read a couple chapters of my book. It was nice to have some time to myself.
Commitment 2: I will make changes in my eating habits and change my old beliefs about dieting.
I am implementing this with all the adjustments I am making with eating every 2-3 hours regardless of the circumstances. Yesterday I was hungry. I should’ve eaten at 5:30 and I was so rushed getting the kids out the door in their costumes that I just didn’t do it. I was finally going to eat my taco salad at 6:15 but I seen that Allison forgot her project on the counter. So instead of eating my taco salad, I put all the makings in the frig and made a shake. Then I drove the project to her. I ate my taco salad at 8 instead. Eating a little bit throughout the day is a concept I’ve never attempted before. I heard it was good for weight loss, I just always struggled to get in one meal a day and snack when necessary the rest of the time. I am also noticing Starbucks and missing them. A friend posted on facebook yesterday that the peppermint mocha’s are back. Gulp. Those are my favorites. My old beliefs about dieting are that I can’t do it. This goes back to forgiving myself for failing before. Dieting is only fun for me while the weight is falling off. When the weight stops falling off, I easily get discouraged and soon quit. I pray the weight doesn’t stop coming off until I am ready for it to stop coming off. I would love to experience a maintenance stage or a transition stage. That would be a first for me.
Obstacles and goals for today: nothing that seems major today. Today is a work day for me, with nowhere to go. I could get tripped up by dropping my guard. I won’t do that. I will also work double hard at eating every 2.5 hours.
Last night, after the kids went to AWANA, I cleaned the house. I couldn’t stop cleaning. I even bent over to pick stuff up. I haven’t had that desire to clean in a long time. It’s always this huge battle with my body to get up and do that. I didn’t feel more energetic, but I had enough energy to get up and clean the house. I was a machine. Once I got to a point where I knew I wouldn’t have any more fun at all if I didn’t stop, I took a bath. Then I ate the yummiest taco salad. No sour cream, no cheese. It was still good! I plan to go to the grocery store and buy more ground turkey breast and make some more taco meat. Then I played my guitar for a bit and watches a few episodes of M*A*S*H*. THEN I read a couple chapters of my book. It was nice to have some time to myself.
Commitment 2: I will make changes in my eating habits and change my old beliefs about dieting.
I am implementing this with all the adjustments I am making with eating every 2-3 hours regardless of the circumstances. Yesterday I was hungry. I should’ve eaten at 5:30 and I was so rushed getting the kids out the door in their costumes that I just didn’t do it. I was finally going to eat my taco salad at 6:15 but I seen that Allison forgot her project on the counter. So instead of eating my taco salad, I put all the makings in the frig and made a shake. Then I drove the project to her. I ate my taco salad at 8 instead. Eating a little bit throughout the day is a concept I’ve never attempted before. I heard it was good for weight loss, I just always struggled to get in one meal a day and snack when necessary the rest of the time. I am also noticing Starbucks and missing them. A friend posted on facebook yesterday that the peppermint mocha’s are back. Gulp. Those are my favorites. My old beliefs about dieting are that I can’t do it. This goes back to forgiving myself for failing before. Dieting is only fun for me while the weight is falling off. When the weight stops falling off, I easily get discouraged and soon quit. I pray the weight doesn’t stop coming off until I am ready for it to stop coming off. I would love to experience a maintenance stage or a transition stage. That would be a first for me.
Obstacles and goals for today: nothing that seems major today. Today is a work day for me, with nowhere to go. I could get tripped up by dropping my guard. I won’t do that. I will also work double hard at eating every 2.5 hours.
Commitment 1: stick to my diet
October 29, 2008
Another day another pound to lose. J I am feeling alright today. I’m a little leery of the ‘hum drum’ of it all. I do like variety and adventure. Yesterday I struggled to eat every 2-3 hours again. It shouldn’t be that hard. But right when I was supposed to eat my second meal, the refrigerator repair man showed up. And then when I was supposed to have my fourth meal, I was at Bible study. I planned ahead and brought my shake and shaker jar to bible study with me. I mixed it after lecture and poured it into a Styrofoam cup so it looked like I was drinking a regular cup of coffee and just drank it while I led the group. That worked pretty well. I am going to try to not bunch my meals up in the evening again today. Hopefully it’ll work.
Since I have nothing else to write, I’m going to write about the commitments of the diet plan.
Commitment 1: I will comply with the Medifast program and consume only the products allowed until I have reached my goal weight.
I’ve been through the gauntlet trying to comply with that commitment already. I’m sure there is more obstacles to come but the good thing is that I really do like the food. I look forward to eating because it is all pretty yummy. There is much more variety than Slim Fast, way better tasting than NutriSystem. And less battle than Richard Simmons, less thought than counting points on weight watchers. I don’t presently see any major problems with sticking to this diet.
Obstacles to face today: Just the family going off to AWANA tonight. Again, it’s usually my ‘Carl’s Jr.’ night. Last week I had Glorianna in the hospital to visit, that kept me occupied. The kids will all probably be coming home with candy tonight too because it’s ‘costume night’ at AWANA’s. I like the idea posted below that says to cut up a bar and put it in the freezer. I am just not sure how to ration that out.
Something else worth noting, I don’t feel the need for more coffee than my usual one cup per day. I even forgot to drink my diet Pepsi yesterday.
Another day another pound to lose. J I am feeling alright today. I’m a little leery of the ‘hum drum’ of it all. I do like variety and adventure. Yesterday I struggled to eat every 2-3 hours again. It shouldn’t be that hard. But right when I was supposed to eat my second meal, the refrigerator repair man showed up. And then when I was supposed to have my fourth meal, I was at Bible study. I planned ahead and brought my shake and shaker jar to bible study with me. I mixed it after lecture and poured it into a Styrofoam cup so it looked like I was drinking a regular cup of coffee and just drank it while I led the group. That worked pretty well. I am going to try to not bunch my meals up in the evening again today. Hopefully it’ll work.
Since I have nothing else to write, I’m going to write about the commitments of the diet plan.
Commitment 1: I will comply with the Medifast program and consume only the products allowed until I have reached my goal weight.
I’ve been through the gauntlet trying to comply with that commitment already. I’m sure there is more obstacles to come but the good thing is that I really do like the food. I look forward to eating because it is all pretty yummy. There is much more variety than Slim Fast, way better tasting than NutriSystem. And less battle than Richard Simmons, less thought than counting points on weight watchers. I don’t presently see any major problems with sticking to this diet.
Obstacles to face today: Just the family going off to AWANA tonight. Again, it’s usually my ‘Carl’s Jr.’ night. Last week I had Glorianna in the hospital to visit, that kept me occupied. The kids will all probably be coming home with candy tonight too because it’s ‘costume night’ at AWANA’s. I like the idea posted below that says to cut up a bar and put it in the freezer. I am just not sure how to ration that out.
Something else worth noting, I don’t feel the need for more coffee than my usual one cup per day. I even forgot to drink my diet Pepsi yesterday.
First Weigh In Day
October 28, 2008
I weighed myself this morning. I don’t know how I feel about it. I guess that 7 pounds is good. Roy had my all psyched out telling me the number was going to be high-‘double digits’ he said. 7 pounds is what I expected I guess. The big test is going to be how much will I lose next week? The goal for 20 pounds before Thanksgiving may be more difficult than I thought. It is November 27th. I still have 4 ½ weeks. So, 13 pounds in 4 ½ weeks sounds doable. Say I lose 3 pounds a week. That would be very close. If I lost 4 pounds a week I would be at 16 + 7, so 23 pounds. That’d be awesome. I have to keep imagining so I can stay motivated.
A couple things that I need to do better this week are drinking all my water, no matter what the circumstances are. It was hard to drink all my water while I was at the beach. Two days I struggled to get my necessary fluids while I was all over the place. I also need to spread my meals out better. They all clump together around dinner time. Last night I couldn’t even eat my last shake. I was too full. And that was after I spent half the day starving. I’m not getting in my vegetables either. I knew that would be a problem. I hate vegetables.
Here are the obstacles that I face today. My refrigerator is broken. All of my food is packed into coolers. Two weeks ago I would’ve lived out of the drive thru at McDonalds but I have to try to get through this without ice cubes and without cold water. The vegetables are warm and soggy or frozen, soon to be soggy. So, my previously stated goal to drink all my fluids regardless of the circumstances and to eat my veggies is going to be challenging at best today.
The BIG obstacle I face this week is Halloween. I usually make a huge pot of homemade potato soup and have the whole family over. Then I have 3 (not the usual 4, that’s good) buckets of candy that lie around for a month. Seriously; It’s no freaking wonder I’m fat. They’ll have to do something else for dinner Friday night because I’m not cooking homemade soup that I can’t eat. And I just did the math. If I stick to this plan, and I lose 4 lbs a week, I can be at my goal by my birthday. Even at 3 pounds a week I can get close. I have to keep my eyes on the prize. Next summer I can wear a 2 piece swim suit!
I weighed myself this morning. I don’t know how I feel about it. I guess that 7 pounds is good. Roy had my all psyched out telling me the number was going to be high-‘double digits’ he said. 7 pounds is what I expected I guess. The big test is going to be how much will I lose next week? The goal for 20 pounds before Thanksgiving may be more difficult than I thought. It is November 27th. I still have 4 ½ weeks. So, 13 pounds in 4 ½ weeks sounds doable. Say I lose 3 pounds a week. That would be very close. If I lost 4 pounds a week I would be at 16 + 7, so 23 pounds. That’d be awesome. I have to keep imagining so I can stay motivated.
A couple things that I need to do better this week are drinking all my water, no matter what the circumstances are. It was hard to drink all my water while I was at the beach. Two days I struggled to get my necessary fluids while I was all over the place. I also need to spread my meals out better. They all clump together around dinner time. Last night I couldn’t even eat my last shake. I was too full. And that was after I spent half the day starving. I’m not getting in my vegetables either. I knew that would be a problem. I hate vegetables.
Here are the obstacles that I face today. My refrigerator is broken. All of my food is packed into coolers. Two weeks ago I would’ve lived out of the drive thru at McDonalds but I have to try to get through this without ice cubes and without cold water. The vegetables are warm and soggy or frozen, soon to be soggy. So, my previously stated goal to drink all my fluids regardless of the circumstances and to eat my veggies is going to be challenging at best today.
The BIG obstacle I face this week is Halloween. I usually make a huge pot of homemade potato soup and have the whole family over. Then I have 3 (not the usual 4, that’s good) buckets of candy that lie around for a month. Seriously; It’s no freaking wonder I’m fat. They’ll have to do something else for dinner Friday night because I’m not cooking homemade soup that I can’t eat. And I just did the math. If I stick to this plan, and I lose 4 lbs a week, I can be at my goal by my birthday. Even at 3 pounds a week I can get close. I have to keep my eyes on the prize. Next summer I can wear a 2 piece swim suit!
Forgiveness
October 27, 2008
So after all the accomplishments of the weekend, after avoiding all the major weapons of warfare out to get me, it may be just a simple pebble that trips me up. When I got home last night it occurred to me how fragile I am now, after that weekend. How a tiny piece of candy on top of the microwave could fell me. Part of me says to give up now. What if I was to die tonight? I’d never get a final good meal! I’ve been on ten different diets that have all failed. I’ve spent money and wasted energy trying to lose weight while my friend, Chrissy hasn’t done a dang thing. The thing is she is no better or worse off than I am and look at how much food she has eaten and money she has saved while I’ve starved. The ‘book’ says I need to forgive myself. I am going to type here what it says about ‘forgiveness’.
“We all need forgiveness. While it sounds like a cliché, it’s often hardest simply to forgive ourselves. Looking at the world through a negative prism robs you of the joy of living. No wonder you turn to food for comfort. You’re always mad at yourself for one thing or another. Today is the day to stop being angry with yourself for whatever you feel you’ve done wrong and to get on with the business of healthy living.”
Well, that’s me. I’m mad at myself for failing over and over again. Yah, it’d feel really good to eat a large bubbly cheesy piece of pizza right now. Dang, I’d love to eat a WHOLE pizza right now. But I’d be mad at myself. I’d probably NEVER forgive myself and I’d eat to make me feel better about it.
I’d like to point out that all week I haven’t had heartburn even once. That’s huge. I often have felt like I was going to die from heartburn. What a relief to not have to deal with that.
So after all the accomplishments of the weekend, after avoiding all the major weapons of warfare out to get me, it may be just a simple pebble that trips me up. When I got home last night it occurred to me how fragile I am now, after that weekend. How a tiny piece of candy on top of the microwave could fell me. Part of me says to give up now. What if I was to die tonight? I’d never get a final good meal! I’ve been on ten different diets that have all failed. I’ve spent money and wasted energy trying to lose weight while my friend, Chrissy hasn’t done a dang thing. The thing is she is no better or worse off than I am and look at how much food she has eaten and money she has saved while I’ve starved. The ‘book’ says I need to forgive myself. I am going to type here what it says about ‘forgiveness’.
“We all need forgiveness. While it sounds like a cliché, it’s often hardest simply to forgive ourselves. Looking at the world through a negative prism robs you of the joy of living. No wonder you turn to food for comfort. You’re always mad at yourself for one thing or another. Today is the day to stop being angry with yourself for whatever you feel you’ve done wrong and to get on with the business of healthy living.”
Well, that’s me. I’m mad at myself for failing over and over again. Yah, it’d feel really good to eat a large bubbly cheesy piece of pizza right now. Dang, I’d love to eat a WHOLE pizza right now. But I’d be mad at myself. I’d probably NEVER forgive myself and I’d eat to make me feel better about it.
I’d like to point out that all week I haven’t had heartburn even once. That’s huge. I often have felt like I was going to die from heartburn. What a relief to not have to deal with that.
October 23, 2008
Yesterday my headache never went away. I am reading the book “The Secret Is Out” and on p. 62 it talks about the first few days on the program. I guess it takes 2-3 days for your body to adapt to the plan. Hungry, tired, irritable, headaches and lightheadedness are normal. These symptoms are supposed to go away as my body enters into the fat burning state and my body adjusts to diet. It advises to avoid tempting smells of food. Roy made me go to McDonalds and get the family dinner last night. Grrr. It was torture. I did it, but I’m still resentful. I did go see my friend in the hospital. That distracted me for a bit, but it didn’t help the headache at all. I went and bought a book yesterday to preoccupy my mind, but my head hurt and I don’t feel like I have enough energy to read. So, it sounds like I am right on track.
In my book, page 32 it says to write down ten reasons why I want to lose weight. I’ve been thinking about that all night. It’s a hard one. Then it gets nitpicky and says to list positives. ??? I’ll do my best here.
1. I want my face to be without fat dimples and double chins. (I hate my fat face)
2. I want to be able to ride amusement park rides without fear of getting kicked off (like I did this summer at Six Flags) because I can’t buckle the safety belt.
3. I want to enjoy sex with my husband.
4. I want to be able to shop for clothes anywhere.
5. I want to give myself a pedicure.
6. I want to enjoy hiking and rock climbing again.
7. I want to skydive. I’m too heavy for a tandem dive right now.
8. If I ever get a chance to play guitar on stage again, I want to look good.
9. I don’t want people to pity me, talking behind my back about how they just wish I’d lose weight.
10. I need to be healthy. I don’t have health insurance so health problems that pop up are expensive. I don’t want diabetes like my dad. I don’t want heartburn anymore.
So, that wasn’t so hard. There are plenty of reasons to lose weight. Tomorrow I’ll try to think of a reasonable goal. That’s hard because the weight target just is too far away. I don’t want to think about trying to lose 150 pounds. I don’t want to think about losing 100 pounds. Not yet anyway. That just seems so hard. Although it seems people achieve that goal faster on this diet than any other I’ve seen so I may change my mind about that. In 2002 when I lost 50 pounds, I weighed 198 and I bungee jumped. I felt really good and felt capable of doing most everything above. But I plateaued there and was just unable to lose anymore. I was going it alone too so I had no idea how to transition into a normal diet. Gained it all back plus some.
MEAL 1 9 AM Cappuccino & one cup coffee
MEAL 2 12 PM Oatmeal Raisin bar I cut it up into 8 pieces and chewed slowly. Savored every bite.
MEAL 3 2 PM Chicken noodle soup. It was weird, but I ate it.
MEAL 4 5 PM blueberry antioxidant shakes with splenda. I liked this much better with splenda. I’ll try the cherry pomegranate shake with splenda tomorrow.
MEAL 5 9 PM
LEAN AND GREEN salad, 2T dressing, 2 veggie burgers, .5 t ketchup
WATER OR CALORIE FREE BEVERAGE
CAFFIENE CAFFIENE CAFFIENE BAR ANTI OX SHAKE
I feel: Weak.
October 24, 2008
So today I enter the ‘fat burning’ stage. My health coach told me that my hunger pains were probably acid rumbling around in my stomach and to take Prilosec or Zantac for it. Imagine that, all this time all I needed was a little more Zantac. LOL That was a new one for me. Energy wise, I’d feel fine if I got a good night sleep last night. I was up every two hours going to the bathroom and then when I woke up at 6:30, I just couldn’t go back to sleep. So now I could use a nap, but I don’t think it’s because of my caloric intake. Allison has a very sore throat this morning so we’ve done an abbreviated version of school.
Goals: First goal to lose at least 40 lbs before Christmas, at least 50lbs before the woman’s retreat. I am hopeful that I can do that plus more, but I will be proud of myself if I can do that much, especially with the holidays standing between us.
Yesterday my headache never went away. I am reading the book “The Secret Is Out” and on p. 62 it talks about the first few days on the program. I guess it takes 2-3 days for your body to adapt to the plan. Hungry, tired, irritable, headaches and lightheadedness are normal. These symptoms are supposed to go away as my body enters into the fat burning state and my body adjusts to diet. It advises to avoid tempting smells of food. Roy made me go to McDonalds and get the family dinner last night. Grrr. It was torture. I did it, but I’m still resentful. I did go see my friend in the hospital. That distracted me for a bit, but it didn’t help the headache at all. I went and bought a book yesterday to preoccupy my mind, but my head hurt and I don’t feel like I have enough energy to read. So, it sounds like I am right on track.
In my book, page 32 it says to write down ten reasons why I want to lose weight. I’ve been thinking about that all night. It’s a hard one. Then it gets nitpicky and says to list positives. ??? I’ll do my best here.
1. I want my face to be without fat dimples and double chins. (I hate my fat face)
2. I want to be able to ride amusement park rides without fear of getting kicked off (like I did this summer at Six Flags) because I can’t buckle the safety belt.
3. I want to enjoy sex with my husband.
4. I want to be able to shop for clothes anywhere.
5. I want to give myself a pedicure.
6. I want to enjoy hiking and rock climbing again.
7. I want to skydive. I’m too heavy for a tandem dive right now.
8. If I ever get a chance to play guitar on stage again, I want to look good.
9. I don’t want people to pity me, talking behind my back about how they just wish I’d lose weight.
10. I need to be healthy. I don’t have health insurance so health problems that pop up are expensive. I don’t want diabetes like my dad. I don’t want heartburn anymore.
So, that wasn’t so hard. There are plenty of reasons to lose weight. Tomorrow I’ll try to think of a reasonable goal. That’s hard because the weight target just is too far away. I don’t want to think about trying to lose 150 pounds. I don’t want to think about losing 100 pounds. Not yet anyway. That just seems so hard. Although it seems people achieve that goal faster on this diet than any other I’ve seen so I may change my mind about that. In 2002 when I lost 50 pounds, I weighed 198 and I bungee jumped. I felt really good and felt capable of doing most everything above. But I plateaued there and was just unable to lose anymore. I was going it alone too so I had no idea how to transition into a normal diet. Gained it all back plus some.
MEAL 1 9 AM Cappuccino & one cup coffee
MEAL 2 12 PM Oatmeal Raisin bar I cut it up into 8 pieces and chewed slowly. Savored every bite.
MEAL 3 2 PM Chicken noodle soup. It was weird, but I ate it.
MEAL 4 5 PM blueberry antioxidant shakes with splenda. I liked this much better with splenda. I’ll try the cherry pomegranate shake with splenda tomorrow.
MEAL 5 9 PM
LEAN AND GREEN salad, 2T dressing, 2 veggie burgers, .5 t ketchup
WATER OR CALORIE FREE BEVERAGE
CAFFIENE CAFFIENE CAFFIENE BAR ANTI OX SHAKE
I feel: Weak.
October 24, 2008
So today I enter the ‘fat burning’ stage. My health coach told me that my hunger pains were probably acid rumbling around in my stomach and to take Prilosec or Zantac for it. Imagine that, all this time all I needed was a little more Zantac. LOL That was a new one for me. Energy wise, I’d feel fine if I got a good night sleep last night. I was up every two hours going to the bathroom and then when I woke up at 6:30, I just couldn’t go back to sleep. So now I could use a nap, but I don’t think it’s because of my caloric intake. Allison has a very sore throat this morning so we’ve done an abbreviated version of school.
Goals: First goal to lose at least 40 lbs before Christmas, at least 50lbs before the woman’s retreat. I am hopeful that I can do that plus more, but I will be proud of myself if I can do that much, especially with the holidays standing between us.
Here are a couple of before pictures I took of my ugly face. See all the extra fat deposits on my cheeks and chin? My neck has fat rolls all the time. Not cool.
It’s Friday, so short term goal is to make it through the weekend strong.
Meal 1: 8:30 am Cappuccino with 2 cups coffee and one packet splenda
Meal 2: 11:30 (actually 1 L) swiss mocha shake
Meal 3: 2:00 peanut butter bar
Meal 4: 5:00 bananas shake
Lean and Green Meal 2 veggie burgers, soy sauce, salad, dressing
Meal 6: 8 or 9 pm
Waters/Crystal Lights
Bar anti ox shake caffeine caffeine caffeine
Today I feel: Tired
October 25, 2008
I am Feeling alright this morning. I slept the whole night through without getting up to go potty. I do have a headache but it’s small. We are going to be off the beach here soon. I am worried about how I’m going to have fun without food.
9:30 Cappuccino
I packed ten meals to take to the beach with us. Hopefully I can do this without a journal J
October 26, 2008
I made it to the beach and back without cheating. I also walked from Ecola State Park, almost to Haystack Rock and back. I walked in the sand for over an hour. It had to be at least a mile to that Rock. In the sand too! I went through the drive through at McDonalds again, watched my family eat pizza at a restaurant, walked by elephant ears, watched my niece and her friends eat chocolate covered Twinkies, smelled candy, sat by a birthday cake and watched my family eat it and I gave away my garlic bread , smelled fried food ALL WEEKEND and I made it. It was hard. What I didn’t do was drink all my water, eat every two hours and I had a hard time eating my grilled chicken salad because it came with almonds and parmesan and carrots. I picked out as much as I could and had my dressing on the side. I just hope it was good enough. It was hard though. I don’t know if I could do it again. Honestly I just want an elephant ear and something else fried like French fries. Gheez. Dear God, please help me do this. So tomorrow will be day 7. I’ll keep better track of my meals and water and then weigh myself Tuesday. I really hope this pays off.
My meal/The family’s Meal. My crowning achievement thus far.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
One of my 'BEFORE' pictures. It was taken on my California trip this past June. This is the trip that I got kicked off of the ride because I couldn't buckle the safety harness. It was humiliating. I haven't gained or lost anything since then, so it's a pretty acurate portrayal. I have worse 'BEFORE' pictures-swimsuit!- but I won't post them here. Too embarrassing.
Tuesday October 21, 2008
Today I start my journey to dump these fat rolls that hinder my exuberance. I remember when I was 16 years old, my aunt Carole, God rest her soul, told me that “short of a disaster, Charity, you will always be fat.” I tried to harness my anger over that statement and use it to keep myself thin for many years but eventually I just decided that she was right and quit fighting. Today, I pick up the fight again. I am excited and can’t wait for the pounds to start to drop off. With my previous difficulty losing weight, I wonder if it will work as well as the success stories boast.
Today I start my journey to dump these fat rolls that hinder my exuberance. I remember when I was 16 years old, my aunt Carole, God rest her soul, told me that “short of a disaster, Charity, you will always be fat.” I tried to harness my anger over that statement and use it to keep myself thin for many years but eventually I just decided that she was right and quit fighting. Today, I pick up the fight again. I am excited and can’t wait for the pounds to start to drop off. With my previous difficulty losing weight, I wonder if it will work as well as the success stories boast.
Meal 1: 9:30 am Banana Shake-it was good but I think it needs to be colder somehow coffee with splenda
Meal 2: 12:30 pm Cream of Chicken Soup – it was even good but I need to microwave it more than one minute. It needs to be hotter. The top of the soup has yellow on it and it is psyching me into thinking that the soup is buttery
Meal 3: 3:00 pm Peanut butter chocolate bar. Yum.
Meal 4: 6:30 pm Cherry Pomegranate shake-- YUCK
Meal 5: 9:30 pm Hot cocoa. The second packet was good. I tried it once, prepping it like the package said and it all gummed up weird. Second time I shook it in the shaker then poured it into a mug and microwave it and it was yummy.
Lean & Green Meal: Ice berg lettuce, eggs, ranch, celery, cucumber
Wednesday October 22, 2008
I made it through yesterday. It ended with a headache and I was hungry. Not so bad it was intolerable though. I woke up with a headache and cramps. I really just want to lie down until I feel better but Roy will be home soon and he’s already critical of how I spend my time. Kids are whining and need my help with school and I think I’m going to cry. I need to tell myself this is temporary. Go take some Advil and this will be all worth it.
Something I noticed yesterday was time. I found myself wondering what I was going to do with all the time I had. So much time is spent preparing food, going to get food, planning food. I had 15 minutes to spare and drove by a Starbucks. I would’ve filled that time with waiting in line at Starbucks if I wasn’t on this diet. So what do I do with those 15 minutes now? I had so much more time to spend yesterday I didn’t really know what to do with myself. Weird, huh? Tonight will be a test. The kids go to Awanas and I usually go and buy myself a ‘special dinner’ and even a milkshake. I need to get a good book. Maybe I’ll pack my memory verses with me?
11:30 Found out a friend is having surgery today so now I know what I’ll do with my Awanas time tonight. I’ll go visit her in the hospital.
The headache never went away.
Meal 1 9:30 cappuccino – to die for, especially mixed with black coffee. I want another J
Meal 2 12:45 Smores Granola bar
Meal 3 3:00 Blueberry antioxidant shake-better than the cherry pomegranate shake but still not my fave.
Meal 4 6:00 strawberry cream shake it was OK, not as sweet as I’m used to
Meal 5 9:00 maple brown sugar oatmeal. Weird. More like mush but I got used to it and found it filling.
Lean and Green Meal 6 oz grilled chicken with lemon pepper seasoning and salad, 2 T low carb dressing
Snack Garden Vegetable crackers
Monday, November 3, 2008
Commitment 2
The History
In September I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a couple months and I just couldn't believe what I saw, or didn't see. She had lost so much weight I was shocked. I had to ask the requisite question "What are you doing?" and of course she then began to tell me that she lost 40 pounds on Medifast diet. Initially I himmed and hawed about it, chalking it up as another slim-fast or NutriSystem diet that would cost me a fortune but not yield any results. Her results, however, were undeniable.
A friend or two mentioned that if she ate one hamburger she'd 'poof' up again, that those kind of diets never work. Being desperate I began to research this diet anyway. Yes, it was a bit of money and it contained soy. I've never had a great reaction to soy. The thing was that I started running into people who were on this diet everywhere I went. Our home school co-op, church, work, bible study, my Mom's church-you name it. Everyone that I ran into had lost more then 20 pounds and raved about it.
My friends health coach called me around the 14th of October. I felt like I was ready, albeit pessimistic, to take another plunge. Try again. Fail again. At least you could say I kept trying. My order came October 20th and I began immediately the next day.
I began keeping a journal of how I was feeling, what obstacles I expected and what I was eating. I was reading the book "The Secrets Out" every chance I could get. I began to understand the science behind the diet, why this diet is different from Slim Fast or Nutrisystem and my pessimism began to change into optimism. My first week I lost 7 pounds. Tomorrow it'll be two weeks and I can't wait to weigh in again.
The Commitments
Commitment 1: I will comply with the Medifast program and consume only the products allowed until I have reached my goal weight.
Commitment 2: I will make changes in my eating habits and change my old beliefs about dieting.
Commitment 3: I will include a weekly program of exercise and record the activity.
Commitment 4: I will be honest with myself about the troubles I am having and will get the support I need. Whether it is through Medifast, a support group, or a special person, I will be accountable to someone.
The Blog
I am calling this blog "Commitment 2" because that commitment is really what it is all about. Changing my eating habits and my old beliefs about dieting. I don't want to eat one hamburger and 'poof' up again. I want to lose weight and feel good for the rest of my life. I've failed every diet I have ever tried and I want to believe that there is still hope.
I am going to start posting my journal here. I will not be posting my weight or my weight target because that isn't really any of your business. I will include pictures as I go along and also leave a running total of how much weight I lose (or gain... ugh) each week. The plan is to post two days at a time starting with October 21st until I'm up to present.
Why Share All Of This?
Because I need help. Most diets I've tried, I've done 'in the closet' so to speak. If I don't tell anyone I am trying to lose weight, nobody will know when I fail. Since I'm trying to change my old beliefs about dieting, and I anticipate success, I will open my journey up to the masses.
Signing off for now,
Charity
In September I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a couple months and I just couldn't believe what I saw, or didn't see. She had lost so much weight I was shocked. I had to ask the requisite question "What are you doing?" and of course she then began to tell me that she lost 40 pounds on Medifast diet. Initially I himmed and hawed about it, chalking it up as another slim-fast or NutriSystem diet that would cost me a fortune but not yield any results. Her results, however, were undeniable.
A friend or two mentioned that if she ate one hamburger she'd 'poof' up again, that those kind of diets never work. Being desperate I began to research this diet anyway. Yes, it was a bit of money and it contained soy. I've never had a great reaction to soy. The thing was that I started running into people who were on this diet everywhere I went. Our home school co-op, church, work, bible study, my Mom's church-you name it. Everyone that I ran into had lost more then 20 pounds and raved about it.
My friends health coach called me around the 14th of October. I felt like I was ready, albeit pessimistic, to take another plunge. Try again. Fail again. At least you could say I kept trying. My order came October 20th and I began immediately the next day.
I began keeping a journal of how I was feeling, what obstacles I expected and what I was eating. I was reading the book "The Secrets Out" every chance I could get. I began to understand the science behind the diet, why this diet is different from Slim Fast or Nutrisystem and my pessimism began to change into optimism. My first week I lost 7 pounds. Tomorrow it'll be two weeks and I can't wait to weigh in again.
The Commitments
Commitment 1: I will comply with the Medifast program and consume only the products allowed until I have reached my goal weight.
Commitment 2: I will make changes in my eating habits and change my old beliefs about dieting.
Commitment 3: I will include a weekly program of exercise and record the activity.
Commitment 4: I will be honest with myself about the troubles I am having and will get the support I need. Whether it is through Medifast, a support group, or a special person, I will be accountable to someone.
The Blog
I am calling this blog "Commitment 2" because that commitment is really what it is all about. Changing my eating habits and my old beliefs about dieting. I don't want to eat one hamburger and 'poof' up again. I want to lose weight and feel good for the rest of my life. I've failed every diet I have ever tried and I want to believe that there is still hope.
I am going to start posting my journal here. I will not be posting my weight or my weight target because that isn't really any of your business. I will include pictures as I go along and also leave a running total of how much weight I lose (or gain... ugh) each week. The plan is to post two days at a time starting with October 21st until I'm up to present.
Why Share All Of This?
Because I need help. Most diets I've tried, I've done 'in the closet' so to speak. If I don't tell anyone I am trying to lose weight, nobody will know when I fail. Since I'm trying to change my old beliefs about dieting, and I anticipate success, I will open my journey up to the masses.
Signing off for now,
Charity
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