November 1, 2008

BIRTHDAY PARTY
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3
HEAD ACHE
TIRED
STUCK TO DIET ANYWAY

November 2, 2008

Yesterday was very hard. I don’t know why. I slept in and had to run once I woke up because we had to get Allison to a party by 11. So, I missed my coffee and computer time. That set a bad precedent for the rest of the day. The headache, probably from the lack of coffee, and the fatigue, probably from not waking up slowly like usual, never went away. I was tired and cranky. I just wanted pizza or a hamburger or something. Nothing would’ve made me happier than a huge Mexican food meal and then some birthday cake. This is just a horrible time of year to be trying your will power. I haven’t even been on this diet two weeks yet and I’ve passed up pizza 3 times, chocolate birthday cake twice, Halloween candy, Carl’s Jr, McDonalds 3 times… movie popcorn. Ugh. My will power felt so thin last night it was unreal. I was trying to broker a deal with myself. If I can lose 25 pounds before Thanksgiving, I’d allow myself to enjoy some mashed potatoes’ and gravy. I was dreaming about mashed potatoes last night.

THEN I woke up this morning remembering the commitment I made to myself. Eat nothing that is not on the plan until I reach my goal weight. End of story. Period. I have to remember that commitment and remember I made that commitment to myself, not to some stranger. So, I am just going to have to prepare myself for 6 oz of turkey and a salad on Thanksgiving. That is it. I have to do this. I am already seeing small changes in my body and I don’t want to waste all the effort put forth so far.

We were watching one of the learning channels the other day. There was a woman on there that lost 125 pounds. She looked ginormous on her before pictures. Like, how could she possibly fit through a door-big. They stated she weighed 275. And now weighs 150. She had huge globs of skin and saggy boobs after she lost the weight. She had to have $60K worth of surgery to remove all the skin and lift up her boobs. This has me a tad worried. I have this poodge on my stomach that I think is always going to be there because of the skin and I can’t afford no huge surgery. If I could, I’d do the lap band!

Something funny that happened at church this morning, the whole sanctuary smelled like popcorn. They were talking about the fragrance of Christ so the smell of popcorn was deliberate. He asked what we thought of, or what does the smell of popcorn remind us of. All I could think of was trying to watch the movie at the theater last night while covering my nose in my hoody to hide from the smell. It was torture all over again. It actually was funny enough to laugh about.